she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i out mim tonsoeep
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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