You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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