I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
