well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
