Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
