Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize