Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
