Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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