Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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