Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
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I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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