I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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