I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
