Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm passing your future prison.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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