we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
