My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Randomize
