walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
