I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
please come you make the beer taste better
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
