Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
