I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
