mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize