Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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