He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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