all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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