If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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