sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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