you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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