I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
