census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
