life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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