Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
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just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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