Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
