We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
