what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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