You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
