How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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