Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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