He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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