In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
