I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
