That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize