Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
