There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
