my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize