meet me or not, i'm out of control
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?