i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
