I feel like I'm in dance class right now
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.