on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.