He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia