this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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