oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
