is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
