Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
