Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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