This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i think my cat just said my name.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
