Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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