The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My room smells like vodka and shame
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
