Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.