Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
